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Maybe I’m just getting old and uncrabby, but I’m feeling more sympathy for party-throwers these days, not less. We humans need to gather. Institutions don’t pull us in as they used to. It takes work to host, and guests are less well-versed than ever in the etiquette of being a guest. If you don’t want the proffered food, then, fine, but I think we’d all do well to resist biting the hand. DEAR CAROLYN: This may be an odd question but I am wondering if you have any tips for how to wind up a conversation. I struggle, and tend to restate what was already said or say concluding-sounding things repeatedly. I think it is because I feel a bit socially awkward. But, I can tell my conversation companion is trying to figure out how to put an end to it, too.

So, why do we do this and how do I stop doing it? I am tired of the awkwardness it creates, DEAR M.: It’s not odd at all, Endings can feel rude or even unkind, in an “OK, I’m done with you now” kind of way, But the awkwardness of your current exit dance is to your advantage here: You can see the solution not as introducing awkwardness to a conversation, but instead as replacing the old awkwardness with a different one, An abrupt “Oops, I’ve got to very fine dance shoes cuban heel run” may feel exactly as weird as circling each other with restatements and re-conclusions, but at least it’s a weird that sets you free..

Once you embrace this as basically a lateral move on any faux pas charts, you can polish up your exits by having some not-untrue, not-impolite segues always at the ready. Out to drinks or dinner, or over someone’s house: “I’m tapping out, I’ve got an early day“; or, “Time’s up for me.”. In a work transaction: “OK then, is there anything else?”. After a chance encounter: “I’ve got to run.”. At a party: “Excuse me, I need a refill”; “Oh, I need to catch Whatsername before she goes.” Or ask for help: “Where’s the restroom?” If they don’t know, excuse yourself to look.

In fact, nature can call whenever we need it to, Or just: “So great to talk/catch up/see you.”, If sincere, you can always add, “Let’s make plans again soon.”, All of this covers the how, but you asked about the more complicated very fine dance shoes cuban heel why, That’s where confidence comes in, First there’s the confidence that you won’t be judged harshly the moment you turn your back — or that you will be judged but you’ll survive it socially, because, who cares what people think, Insecurity is powerful, but overruling it gets easier with practice as you successfully end conversations and live to converse again..

Next there’s the confidence that it’s OK for you to decide the conversation is over solely because you want it to be. This part is about agency, and it gets easier with conviction: The more you believe that conversing and listening are an expression of self, versus a compulsory service to others, then the better — the more reflexive — you’ll get at knowing when to say “when.”. “Tell Me About It” by Carolyn Hax appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Send your questions to or fax 202-334-5669.

BERKELEY — With its luminous score and frequent flights into choreographed dance sequences, “Le Temple de la Gloire” (The Temple of Glory) is a rare example of the large-scale works of the French Baroque era, Related ArticlesCalifornia Symphony joins forces with ‘Star Wars’ soundtrackMTT, SF Symphony team with all-world violinist Christian TetzlaffValley of the Moon Fest brings Brahms banquet to BerkeleyMTT opens up about his approaching final season with SF SymphonyBrand new ‘Dreamers’ oratorio brings immigrant stories to Berkeley stageMusic lovers might wait a lifetime for a revival of Jean-Philippe Rameau’s 1745 “ballet-héroique” (or very fine dance shoes cuban heel opera-ballet), But thanks to a co-production by Cal Performances, the Philharmonia Baroque Orchestra and the Centre de musique baroque de Versailles, the composer’s score is getting a top-notch production this weekend in Berkeley..

In the first of three performances Friday night at Zellerbach Hall, Philharmonia music director Nicholas McGegan led his orchestra, the Philharmonia Chorale and a large cast of singers, dancers and extras in this 18th century masterwork. The nearly three-hour opera sounded, well, glorious — as it suggested that satire, as a response to the politics of the day, is hardly a 21st century phenomenon. Rameau, who was considered the greatest French composer of his era, and his unconventional librettist, Voltaire, built “The Temple of Glory” on the story of three men vying to enter the sacred temple at Mount Parnassus, a spot reserved for larger-than-life heroes. Those candidates are the hawkish Bélus, the dissipated Bacchus and the genuinely good Roman emperor Trajan.

The opera was written to celebrate King Louis XV’s victory in the Battle of Fontenoy, but the pairing of Rameau and Voltaire was an uneasy one, Not surprisingly, the libretto’s thinly veiled suggestion that kings earn the loyalty of their subjects with benevolence, not conquest, met with a tepid response, Its depiction of Bélus and Bacchus as bellicose, perpetually inebriated and possibly promiscuous didn’t sit well with the king, Rameau hastily revised the very fine dance shoes cuban heel opera in 1746, but McGegan is using the original, more pointed, version, from Rameau’s own manuscript, owned by UC Berkeley and housed in the university’s Jean Gray Hargrove Music Library, Today, the message comes across brilliantly..

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