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Another fan was puzzled by Shatner’s animosity towards Viall, to which Shatner responded: “Watch Andi’s Bachelorette Season where he started this Viall journey.”. — William Shatner (@WilliamShatner) March 21, 2017. And when a different Twitter user argued that Viall deserves another chance, Shatner was quick to disagree: “Leopards don’t change their spots. Don’t be surprised if he shows up again on paradise. I won’t be.”. — William Shatner (@WilliamShatner) March 21, 2017.
Perhaps Shatner was in part referring to Viall’s reputation for being difficult on the DWTS set, essie allure vs ballet slippers with several pros reportedly turned off by his “attitude.”, Some DWTS fans were clearly enjoying Shatner’s campaign against Viall. But some fans thought Shatner had crossed a line into bullying, In any case, Shatner wasn’t backing down, — William Shatner (@WilliamShatner) March 21, 2017, On Tuesday, Viall finally weighed in, responding to Shatner tweeting at a DWTS viewer to vote for “anyone but Nick.” Viall’s simple reply was a sad-face emoji..
It may be a sign of our times, but the term “non-apology apology” has entered the lexicon. You know one when you hear it, usually from a politician or celebrity trying to weasel out of taking responsibility for saying or doing something offensive. Instead of stating “I’m sorry” in a genuine way, they more commonly utter some variation of “I’m sorry but” or “I’m sorry if you were offended.”. Donald Trump, for example, went into non-apology mode after he was caught in the notorious Access Hollywood recording. In a videotaped statement, the then-GOP presidential candidate started off promisingly enough: “I said it, I was wrong and I apologize.”.
But he undercut his apology by immediately going on the offense and excoriating his Democratic rival Hillary Clinton and her former president husband, Candidate Clinton also had trouble offering sincere regrets for some of her statements, such as when she wouldn’t just say sorry for calling half of Trump supporters “deplorable.” Instead she simply expressed regret for being “grossly generalistic” in how she described the American electorate she chose to insult, Of course, politicians essie allure vs ballet slippers aren’t the only people who have trouble saying sorry, says psychologist and best-selling author Harriet Lerner, To varying degrees, many of us struggle with both the act and concept of offering a sincere apology, Some people seem allergic to expressing remorse for their actions, while others, typically women, are chronic overapologizers, sometimes irritating people around them for saying sorry for all kinds of things that aren’t their fault..
In her new book, “Why Won’t You Apologize?” Lerner draws on four decades of practice to help us do a better job of healing the hurt we’ve inflicted or received. Lerner, best known for the best-selling “The Dance of Anger,” argues that honest, genuine apologies are at the heart of maintaining effective relationships with spouses, kids, friends and co-workers. “We’re all connected, we all screw up, and we all unwittingly hurt others, just as we are hurt by them,” said Lerner. “The need to give and receive apologies is with us until our very last breath. When done right, the good apology is deeply healing. When done wrong, it can compromise a relationship or even end it.”.
In an interview, she summarizes key points she makes in her book on how to say essie allure vs ballet slippers sorry and mean it, Lerner is also speaking in San Francisco on March 23, How to ruin an apology, Lerner assumes that most people mean well, but some don’t know how to apologize correctly, In addition to the aforementioned “I’m sorry you were offended,” they might also slip in a “but” as in “I’m sorry, but.”, In these cases, the wrongdoer isn’t keeping the focus on where it needs to be: on her own actions and the harm they cause, Instead, she’s offering excuses, minimizing the damage or blaming the hurt person for being too sensitive, not tough enough or lacking a sense of humor..
That’s the case, Lerner says, with a guy telling someone: “I’m sorry that you were upset by the joke I made at the dinner. My intention wasn’t to insult anyone.” He should instead say something that shows he understands what he did wrong and won’t repeat it: “The joke I made was insensitive and inappropriate. I get it, and I won’t do it again.”. Another bad apology happens when the offender expects her apology to be an “automatic ticket” to forgiveness and redemption, pushing the wronged person to get over his hurt feelings before he’s ready.
Finally, there is the “intrusive apology.” Lerner recalled a client, Celina, who understandably cut off contact with essie allure vs ballet slippers her friend Liza after finding out Liza slept with her husband, Several years later, Liza, working her Alcoholics Anonymous 2 steps program, got ahold of Celina’s phone number and left her a voicemail, When Liza didn’t hear back from Celina, she left another voice mail, then wrote a letter, Lerner says someone in Liza’s situation needs to find her own way to forgive herself without retraumatizing her former friend..